You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
