Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
