I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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