after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
