I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
