The maid of honor just puked.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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