yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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