I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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