Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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