Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
