Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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