your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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