im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
