whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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