We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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