Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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