Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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