Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
