I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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