when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
