Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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