She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
