A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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