you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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