You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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