The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize