Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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