doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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