I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
