oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
