glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize