my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
