I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My legs feel like baby dolphins
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
