Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
