I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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