I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
