When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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