yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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