I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
