Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
