I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
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I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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