margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
