Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
