You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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