I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your penis caused this!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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