I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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