and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
