Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
