Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
love makes seman taste better
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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