I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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