well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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