Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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