i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
