I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
