Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
