Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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