I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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