My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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