she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
