he told me I talked like a deaf person
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He shit in the fireplace
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
