I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
