We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
