i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.