He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome