I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
honey bunches of taint.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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