Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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