I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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